Demons – A side we all have

Everyone has a dark side, a demon within. While some are quite good at keeping the demon within dormant, others find this quite difficult because the demon within that person easily gets aroused hence there is a constant battle between You and your inner demon.

I am sure your familiar with the song Demons by Imagine Dragons. The cover done by Boyce Avenue with Jennel Garcia is truly mind blowing…

Some of my favorite lyrics from the song are

“When the days are cold / And the cards all fold / And the saints we see / Are all made of gold”

Days are cold simply means that he has no warmth in his life, he thinks that has no one to care about him, he is alone in this world. Even if he has someone to care about him in the present, he is scared that she too might leave him once she knows the truth. Would her feeling for him change if she knows the truths? He has given up the playing the game of live

When your dreams all fail / And the ones we hail / Are the worst of all / And the blood’s run stale

As a person he too had dreams, a vision, a purpose of life that he wants to fulfill. However in achieving these he may have to give up things dearest to him, things which made him happy. The ones that he achieved has not given him the happiness he desired. In fact now the passion of his life no more. A person dies when the blood runs stale. So in simple in the pursuit of making his dreams a reality, he has been successful in some, the ones that hold him back and in doing so he has lost the ones he considered dearest to him. At the moment he has no passion as the driving force in his life.

I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There’s nowhere we can hide

 

He is wants his true nature to remain hidden. He is worried that revealing his dark side will cause problems in his relationship. He does not want her to know but his dark side is strong, no matter how much he tries hide his inner demons, they always emerge. There is absolutely no way that he can hide from his inner demons. His inner demons will always find a way to surface and show itself to the person who he wants to hide it from.

Song revolves around a person with who wants to hide is dark past, but finds it difficult to do so because his dark side is very strong. He is very attached to a girl and does not want her to find out who he really was and what he is capable of doing.

The rest of the song I leave for your imagination…

Close your eyes and listen to the song, the melody and the lyrics..

We all have demons within ourselves, we all have met well concealed demons, may even have fallen in love with one.. Look into your heart and soul..

Let the Demon in You in take it’s course!

Maybe Just Maybe Can We?

Can we go back:

  • to the time when my biggest worry was hiding my blushing face from your inquisitive eyes?
  • to the moment we first looked at each others’ eyes?
  • to that unexpected kiss?
  • to early morning annoying wake up calls?
  • to when the our burning issue was what to order for dinner?
  • to the time when we were too drunk to care about what others thought of us?
  • to the place where we thought it ended but actually it began?
  • to the night we gazed at the sky searching for stars?
  • to the place we first met?
  • to the times I waited , because you said you will come and you did?
  • to the roof-top when everything seemed perfect and beautiful like a fairy tale?
  • to the evenings we used to walk around just so that we would have more time to spend with each other?
  • to the time we danced in each others’ arms?
  • to the days we lived in that moment?

But most of all!

Can we go back to when we agreed to part ways hoping that either one of us would call to the other but neither one did? After all these years the unspoken words still linger in my heart…. Would we have been able to alter the time if at least one of us had spoken up?

soul mate grow apart Can we go back and be one?

Can we go back to the time when we realized that unspoken words have more potential to kill a person emotionally than spoken words… ?

Was the all the pain and suffering worth it? The sleepless nights crying, hugging the pillow for warmth and wondering how it would have turned out. Would we have married? Would we have had kids? We would never know because we never gave us a chance. When the journey together got tough we decided it would be easier to travel alone, hence we shook hands and parted ways, each of us going in the opposite direction. That was the end of US.

Afterwards it was only me, myself and I.

By myself, I was able to go fast, but there was no one to share it with, no one to catch me or laugh at me when I fall, no one to argue with, no one to tease me and no one to love me for my good & bad alike. Even after reaching my desired destination I did not feel the satisfaction because I left the person who genuinely cared about me, my success and failure. I learned to moved on but held on to our memories.

They say “what does not kill you makes you stronger”, I think that it is more like, what does not kill you makes you numb to it after sometime, hence you don’t feel the pain unless something triggers it.

After all these years, I realized that there is no going back. No matter how much I wish I can never go back and change what happened. It was not fate, it was what we decide. We wrote our own fate. Many blames what happens on destiny. In my view destiny or fate brought us together but it was us who decided to throw it out of the back door. I am the author of my own destiny, only I can change it’s course. Destiny did not make us part ways, we did. It was not destiny that made me walk away with a crippling heart, it was my ego. I know that both of us were waiting for the other one to say how we love and need each other but instead we walked away as if it was a casual fling. I guess neither one of us realized that we would never get a second chance, that we could never go back!

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Even after a decade, I still remember the day we met, how I felt when we were together, your face after the first kiss, how you looked into my eyes and the list goes on and on. I am sure that one day after I am gone even my grand kids would know about you because you have covered many pages in my journal.

I still wonder whether you remember the endless conversions we had? Do you remember when we became more than friends? Do you remember how you used to tease me? Do you remember the fights we had because of our possessiveness of each other?

We both would remember the days of struggle, the times we gave up on each other and decided to quit, that was the last time I saw you and the last time we met.

We can not go back, but maybe just maybe that was not the last time, maybe some day there would be a next time and just maybe can we go back?

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Valentine’s Day Special: Be my Valentine.. or Not!

February is regarded as the month of “Love” and we all know why….

Valentine’s day is around the corner, a day loved by some while a day dreaded by others.

Everywhere we can see Valentine’s day offers and promotions, personally my facebook home page is filled with “Gifts for her/him” posts, inbox is filled with Valentine’s day promotions/offers and party mails and the list goes on and on. While I believe that it is really sweet to spend the Valentine’s day with your loved one, the sad part is most Valentine’s day enthusiasts (who celebrate Valentines day in a grand scale) have forgotten the true meaning of Love.

It is evident that Valentine’s day has become very commercialized hence I shall re-phrase February as “commercially” the month of Love!

I have always thought that there was something not quite write about this Valentine’s day Theory (I am not anti-Valentine but I am anti-commercialized Valentine).

The pressure to plan and execute the Perfect Valentine’s for your loved one can drive a person crazy and once all that is done, if it was not up to the expected standard of the receiving party, your officially doomed! (Better Luck next year buddy!) References will be made to the mishaps that day throughout the year and you will be officially responsible for making the Day of Love and Happiness to a Day of Tragedy and Depression.

Even if things turn out to be super duper awesome at Valentine’s day celebrations, then there is pressure to make even more fantastic next year.. (Oh Hell NO!!)

Either way you lose (unless you and your better-half shares similar views on Valentine’s day).

I don’t even want to comment on the depression caused to the Singles (IMO The Lucky ones)  during Valentine’s season.

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Valentine’s day symbolizes Love. A day with great historic importance but sadly now it has become time of the year for Gift shops, florists and restaurants to increase their revenue.

May of us have forgotten that Love is NOT restricted to a specific day. You don’t need a specific day surprise her with a Rose or a day to show that you care.

Love is everything you want it to be.

It is a tight hug when you’re feeling low. It is simple “I miss you” when your better-half is away. It is a Good morning to show that your darling is the first person you remembered as soon as you woke up. It is promise that everything will be all right when evidently everything  is not alright. It is about looking forward to meeting your beloved. It can be anything to show how much you care.

Love is NOT appearing on the Valentines day with a dozen roses and chocolate boxes. Love is NOT taking her out for a fancy dinner on Valentines day to the most expensive restaurant in town. Love is NOT purchasing the biggest “Be My Valentine” card you can possibly find.

Because when you look back, all you will remember is how you felt, how happy you were and all the little things that means soo much!

Have an Awesome Valentine’s Day!

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My One true Love

Mainly thanks to the Disney movies and most of other movies, we are all very familiar with the phrase “one true love”. I know that most of us have embarked on the quest to find your “one true love”.

For a while you think think that he or she is my one true love and the next moment your like “what the hell!”. One thing guaranteed in this quest is the heartbreak, disappointment and  depression.

In my opinion “my one true love” is the person who will be there with me and for me always. A person who i can be with after everything I have been throughout the day, A person who does not judge me for who I am. I person that loves me just the way I am and who will cross even the seven sea just to be with me. For years I have been searching for this person, not realizing that I have had this person in my life even before I was born to this world.

My one true love is my Mother. She is the person in this world who loves me unconditionally without any expectations. My happiness is her happiness, my sorrow is her sorrow. Without her I am not me. Without her love I may not have survived. Whenever I feel like giving up, she is always there to help me get back up. She helps me to overcome my moments of weakness.

Looking back, there are countless times that I have disagreed with her, thought that she was wrong, but now I see that she had been right all along and think “if only I had listened to her”.

She is the Angel in my life and I am truly grateful that she is my Mother. She is my One True Love!

I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing

When I was young I thought that “I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing” was used to refer to a person who was in coma. Well technically that is true, but as I grew older I realized that there is a deeper meaning to this which is way beyond a physical condition of health.

When your happy you don’t feel time passing by, you feel that your on top of the world and in simple you feel that life is perfect. This does not necessarily mean that you have no worries but you tend to forget about them and move on and live life to the fullest. Enjoy every aspect of it.

In most instances its one person who enters into your live that makes you feel that life is worth living. You feel that your complete, sort of like finding the last missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle. You start to see the picture clearly and wonder how you were able to live without that Him (or Her).

He will become the most prominent person in your life even without your knowledge. Before long you will start to forget how your life was without Him. Its as if you have known Him forever. Even when your not with Him you will wish that He was with you. The songs that you listen to will remind you of him. Basically everything around you, what you do, what you feel will be related to Him.

EVERYTHING IS PERFECT! You think that nothing could possibly go wrong!

Alas! Something always goes wrong..!

Something happens and disaster strikes. Things are not the same as it used to be. Thus end of your Perfect world. You exactly can’t pin point whats wrong, but sure that everything is not right. Sometimes even if you knew whats wrong, the damage is already done and there is no humanly possible way of fixing it.

All those wonderful memories, which you used to cherish now haunt you day and night. All those long conversations you had, which you used to re-read and smile, reminds you of the  wonderful time in the past. Listening to all the songs that reminds you of him and the bond you had will surely make your eyes tear.

Once again you have lost the last missing piece that made your life complete. You want to go back to the life you had, before He came along but you can’t remember how it was. Even if you finally remembered and moved back to that life, you will be more depressed because it would be a very dull life and constantly you will compare your life with him and without him.

Even though your heart broken inside, emotionally torn apart and shattered into millions of pieces, you still have to face the rest of the world, go to work, talk with people etc.

The way I realized  “I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing”, means that even though you have lost the sole purpose of living, you have to continue with life. Surely it will be difficult and at times impossible (you will prefer nothing better than to cuddle up on your bed and never leave it).

But you have to remember is that as everything else life goes on!

Of course with time the wounds will heal leaving the scars behind. Some wounds will take more time, while some will not heal at all, but you will learn to live with them. Once again you will be able to look back on life, go down the memory lane and be happy that He was part of your life and made you the person your today.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Walk Down the Memory Lane

As a teen when watching movies, I used to wish romance like that would blossom in my life as well. The passion and desire between two lovers used to keep me glued to the movies for hours and sometimes I would end up watching the movie several times.

One the movies which I really loved was The Notebook (this was based on a book written by well known Nicholas Sparks).  While it is evident that the story is very romantic and passionate, what struck me most was how the characters go down the memory lane.I truly wished that my life too would be filled with memories so that once in awhile I can visit them and live those moments again.

Memories need not always be sweet and loving, as time passes by even the most hated memories would probably be able to put a smile on your face and help you get through with your life because these events may have lead you to the one thing that makes you happy.

A walk down the memory lane is a healthy method to spice up your relationship with your partner. If both of you are currently going through a difficult time, and has forgotten what got the two of you together in the first place, take a moment from your schedule, take a walk in the park, go to the beach or the place where you first met her (or him). Try to remember the exact moments of that day, live that moment, speak up, tell how you really felt…. look into her eyes and think of all the beautiful memories that the two of you shared afterwards.

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I simply love to take a stroll down the memory lane because I love running into the those memories since it brought you to me and I love running into you.